“Grief Has No Manual”: Phyna Breaks Silence After Backlash for Clubbing Weeks After Sister’s Burial

Big Brother Naija Season 7 winner, Ijeoma Josephina Otabor, popularly known as Phyna, has finally spoken out following criticism over a recent video showing her partying weeks after the burial of her younger sister, Ruth Otabor.

Phyna, who lost her sister in a tragic Dangote truck accident in August, laid her to rest in September. However, a viral clip of the reality TV star dancing at a nightclub alongside Nollywood actress Regina Daniels sparked outrage among some social media users, who accused her of “moving on too quickly.”

While Regina Daniels had earlier stepped in to defend Phyna — urging people to stop judging how others choose to grieve — Phyna herself had remained silent until now.

Taking to her X (formerly Twitter) account, the media personality penned a heartfelt message addressing the criticism and reminding the public that grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience.

“Grief has no manual, no fixed face, and no timetable. The fact that I choose to keep living, smiling, or sharing moments does not erase the pain I carry.

Respect the process, even if you do not understand it. If you cannot extend compassion, then at least extend silence,” Phyna wrote.

Opinion:

Phyna’s response is both brave and deeply human — a reminder that healing looks different for everyone. Society often expects grief to fit a certain mold: quiet, somber, and withdrawn. But the truth is, grief isn’t a performance. It’s personal, unpredictable, and often messy.

Phyna’s choice to step out and live her life doesn’t mean she’s forgotten her loss; it may simply be her way of surviving it. For some, crying alone brings peace. For others, laughter and social moments help them breathe again.

The online culture of judgment — where people police how others should mourn — often forgets that pain doesn’t disappear because someone smiles. Phyna’s words cut through that noise with wisdom: compassion should always come before criticism.

At its heart, her message is universal — “let people grieve their own way.” Whether through silence, song, or even dance, healing is still healing.