US-based gay Nigerian, Emmanuel Onwe, has opened up about a harrowing experience of being kitoed in 2019, describing it as one of the darkest moments of his life.

Kito is a slang term within Nigeria’s LGBT community that refers to a dangerous scheme where homophobic individuals pose as queer people online or on dating apps in order to lure genuine members of the community. The victims are then subjected to extortion, outing, or even physical harm.

Onwe shared his story on Thursday, September 4, while reflecting on the importance of kindness after a follower thanked him for a cash gift.

He recalled:
“In 2019, I was kitoed – stripped of everything I had. I remember the helplessness, the shame, the weight of starting from zero. And yet, in that darkness, someone showed me kindness and bought me a new phone. That simple act restored my hope.”

Onwe, who has since found stability abroad, explained that his ability to give back today is rooted in that single act of compassion. He concluded by invoking the African philosophy of Ubuntu:
“I am because you are. Without community, without each other, we have nothing.”

Opinion: A Reminder of the Power of Kindness in a Cruel World

Onwe’s story is more than a personal testimony—it shines a light on the real dangers faced by LGBTQ+ Nigerians, many of whom live under constant fear of harassment, exposure, or violence. In a society where stigma and discrimination remain strong, being kitoed isn’t just an isolated misfortune; it’s a cruel reality that strips victims of safety, dignity, and sometimes their very livelihoods.

Yet, what makes his story powerful is not just the trauma, but the lesson he draws from it: kindness can rebuild what cruelty destroys. The phone gifted to him in his moment of despair wasn’t merely a gadget; it was a symbol of renewed hope, a lifeline to connection, and proof that humanity still exists even in the darkest corners.

This is where his reference to Ubuntu resonates deeply: “I am because you are.” Community is not just about shared spaces—it’s about shared responsibility. If hate can isolate, then love and kindness must bind us back together.

In a world where negativity trends faster than compassion, Onwe’s story is a challenge to us all. We may not be able to solve every injustice, but we can choose empathy in our daily actions. Sometimes, all it takes is a small gesture—a phone, a kind word, a moment of support—to remind someone that they are not alone.

Because, truly, without each other, we have nothing.