Tems Shares Her Red Flags in Relationships: “Curiosity and Friendship Are Key”

Grammy-winning Nigerian singer Temilade Openiyi, popularly known as Tems, has opened up about the qualities she looks for in a partner—and the deal-breakers she simply cannot compromise on.

In a recent interview with American media outlet Complex, the “Love Me Jeje” crooner revealed that she avoids dating men who are unfriendly or lack curiosity about their partners. According to Tems, the essence of a relationship is lost if one person isn’t genuinely interested in understanding the other.

“My dating terms are: someone who is not trying to be your friend is a red flag. Anybody that isn’t curious about you is also a red flag. Because what are we doing? Why are we here if you don’t want to know me? If he or she doesn’t want to know more about you, end the relationship,” she said.

Tems admitted that while she is naturally a “lover girl,” past experiences have made her more cautious. She explained that her current focus is on self-love and building a strong sense of self before diving into relationships.

Opinion:
Tems’ honesty is refreshing in an age where relationship advice is often superficial. Her emphasis on curiosity and friendship highlights that true connection goes beyond attraction—it requires genuine interest, effort, and mutual respect. In a world where emotional intimacy is too often overlooked, Tems’ approach serves as a powerful reminder: love should uplift, nurture, and spark curiosity, not just fill a space. By prioritizing self-love and healthy boundaries, she sets an example that fans and young people can learn from: know your worth, and don’t settle for anything less than someone who truly wants to know you.